Batteries. Fine.
I'll do it. I seriously hate all you people (the none of you that read this at any point) for making me go through this, but I'm going to buy batteries.
Why the crap did I ever think "wireless keyboard" meant "ultracoolfuntimes." I mean, the novelty would be when I take it into the bathroom with me. But unless I rig up a whole bunch of mirrors and leave every door open (like in a certain someone's house, but I'm not naming names. We'll call her S. Schlatter. Wait, no, too obvious; refer to her as Shannon S.), that whole idea isn't exactly feasible. So the fun has been melted down to "Hey, moron. Go get me some more batteries."
Whatever you say, keyboard. Whatever you say.
Anyway, I'm writing this from work, where we happen to sell batteries. (I know, I know, I can hear you all as you tilt your head and sigh in disbelief. I could have gotten batteries on my way out of work on any of the 50 days I've been here since they died. Shut up.) And when I leave here today I'll be out a few bucks and up four AA's. I'm doing this mostly to get the website back up, the one that I've told no one about since my batteries died just as it was all coming together. I'm lame. I know. My recent absence from the Amazing World Wide Intracon Webnetlink has led me to realize a few key things:
1) I do miss the occaisional video game. I feel like a monkey who just hasn't thrown poop in 7 weeks. It's not like I have to, but those darn tourists are gettin' off too easy.
2) There's a lot of people who only keep in touch based on your availability online. I think I might be one of them. I'm horrible at keeping in touch with anyone. Heck, I live with my brother and he had to call me this afternoon just to see how things were. How lame is that? And when you remove a huge point of person-to-person access, I kinda dry up and get all disconnected and stuff. Kinda like a brain out of the skull. Just kinda shrivels and what not.
3) Facebook and MySpace are still not at all interesting, even after having gone 7 weeks without them. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder; in their case, absence makes the 15 year old girls stop spamming me with invites to look at her other online journals.
4) Doug isn't acutally real. Kristi hired an Asian violinist/actor/powerlifter to show up to Dan's party, and then saw to it that he was rehired to play at Michelle's wedding 5 months later. I give her credit, though, she knows how to keep a prank running.
5) I hate my phone. I seriously do. I thought buying a new pretty one would help, and when that didn't work I got a Van Gogh background for it. I then proceeded to get Pacman's theme song to play when someone sends me a text message. I guess it's fitting that the only thing I like is the text message part; not only do I get Pacman, but it's quick and to the point.
6) I pay too much for internet. Correction: I'm going to pay too much for internet. Once this little introductory offer is over, I'm not sure if I even want it anymore. Luckily I have a roommate who will. Otherwise, you'd never hear from me again it seems.
7) I have no idea what to put here. What is it that drives us to fill a list up to the magical number "10"? It's not like we get a prize for the most well-rounded list or anything. And if we are supposed to, I'd like to talk to whoever gives those out, because I'm kinda owed a few. Thousand.
8) 9) 10) Make that one more prize, punk. Out of spite.
I think I'm going to save my last thoughts for a new post. And I'll give you ten reasons why:
1) Shut up.
2) Shut up.
3) Shut up.
4) Shut up.
5) Shut up.
6) Shut up.
7) Shut up.
8) Shut up.
9) Because Shannon is probably the only one who would care anyway, and we all know that:
a) she hates me, and
b) she stopped reading this like ten years ago, when the first of the batteries died.
10) Shut up.
Item nine, being two-fold, made this ten-fold list, in all actuality, 11-fold. Here's to you, Olde English
Why the crap did I ever think "wireless keyboard" meant "ultracoolfuntimes." I mean, the novelty would be when I take it into the bathroom with me. But unless I rig up a whole bunch of mirrors and leave every door open (like in a certain someone's house, but I'm not naming names. We'll call her S. Schlatter. Wait, no, too obvious; refer to her as Shannon S.), that whole idea isn't exactly feasible. So the fun has been melted down to "Hey, moron. Go get me some more batteries."
Whatever you say, keyboard. Whatever you say.
Anyway, I'm writing this from work, where we happen to sell batteries. (I know, I know, I can hear you all as you tilt your head and sigh in disbelief. I could have gotten batteries on my way out of work on any of the 50 days I've been here since they died. Shut up.) And when I leave here today I'll be out a few bucks and up four AA's. I'm doing this mostly to get the website back up, the one that I've told no one about since my batteries died just as it was all coming together. I'm lame. I know. My recent absence from the Amazing World Wide Intracon Webnetlink has led me to realize a few key things:
1) I do miss the occaisional video game. I feel like a monkey who just hasn't thrown poop in 7 weeks. It's not like I have to, but those darn tourists are gettin' off too easy.
2) There's a lot of people who only keep in touch based on your availability online. I think I might be one of them. I'm horrible at keeping in touch with anyone. Heck, I live with my brother and he had to call me this afternoon just to see how things were. How lame is that? And when you remove a huge point of person-to-person access, I kinda dry up and get all disconnected and stuff. Kinda like a brain out of the skull. Just kinda shrivels and what not.
3) Facebook and MySpace are still not at all interesting, even after having gone 7 weeks without them. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder; in their case, absence makes the 15 year old girls stop spamming me with invites to look at her other online journals.
4) Doug isn't acutally real. Kristi hired an Asian violinist/actor/powerlifter to show up to Dan's party, and then saw to it that he was rehired to play at Michelle's wedding 5 months later. I give her credit, though, she knows how to keep a prank running.
5) I hate my phone. I seriously do. I thought buying a new pretty one would help, and when that didn't work I got a Van Gogh background for it. I then proceeded to get Pacman's theme song to play when someone sends me a text message. I guess it's fitting that the only thing I like is the text message part; not only do I get Pacman, but it's quick and to the point.
6) I pay too much for internet. Correction: I'm going to pay too much for internet. Once this little introductory offer is over, I'm not sure if I even want it anymore. Luckily I have a roommate who will. Otherwise, you'd never hear from me again it seems.
7) I have no idea what to put here. What is it that drives us to fill a list up to the magical number "10"? It's not like we get a prize for the most well-rounded list or anything. And if we are supposed to, I'd like to talk to whoever gives those out, because I'm kinda owed a few. Thousand.
8) 9) 10) Make that one more prize, punk. Out of spite.
I think I'm going to save my last thoughts for a new post. And I'll give you ten reasons why:
1) Shut up.
2) Shut up.
3) Shut up.
4) Shut up.
5) Shut up.
6) Shut up.
7) Shut up.
8) Shut up.
9) Because Shannon is probably the only one who would care anyway, and we all know that:
a) she hates me, and
b) she stopped reading this like ten years ago, when the first of the batteries died.
10) Shut up.
Item nine, being two-fold, made this ten-fold list, in all actuality, 11-fold. Here's to you, Olde English
posted by Dave LaGory at 22:31
1 Comments:
Lets get a couple things straight.
1) It's true. I leave the door open.
2) What's it to you?
3) I care.
4) My face is on fire.
5) I didn't stop reading your lame lists of 10, even though my face is on fire and I haven't slept in over 24 hours.
6) Lists of 10 are lame.
7) I never thought of taking the wireless keyboard into the bathroom and the whole mirror setup thing. Genius!
8) I'm going to Florida in 10 days.
9) What if your made your lists with letters? Where would be the stopping point?
a) here?
b) or here?
c) or would you keep going to z?
There, now that I've voiced my thoughts and opinion on the matter I think I'll go eat my supper.
Oh, and Dave, not sure if you actually got them (the batteries) but I'm proud of you in any case.
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