Ingenuity at its Finest

When the world's best and brightest collaborate, they occasionally come up with something that's just absolutely fantastic. And I bet a lot of you are going to click on that link and then get all pissed off that I think it just happens to be a modern marvel of advanced society, but whatever. Leave your comment and we can hash that out in another post. But what I'm referring to, quite fittingly, is a law that was put together in Tennessee. Swap out one e for one s, and you got a ripe recipe for Tenseness, which is what I feel when I read about this new law. Not a tenseness of fear or anxiety, but of... I take that back. Anxiety sounds pretty good. Anxiety of the marvels to come from this obvious brilliance. I mean, a "Crack Tax"? A tax on things that aren't even legal? Holy crap. Brilliance. Genius. Other smart-sounding word. Screw making anything legal, they figured it out: make it even more illegal, and then give the ol' Double-edged sword of black marketeering! Take that, drug lords! The big draw to that fashion of lifestyle has to be the tax-free living. I mean, it sure sounds nice to me. But not anymore! Drug trafficing in Tennessee has just become equivalent to peeing in the wind: Sure, may feel great when you get that release, but no one feels great when there's piss on their shirt. And shoes. Man, it sucks when you get pee on your shoes.
I need to get new shoes. Luckily, it has nothing to do with urine. Except that after a long rousing game of raquetball, my feet smell. Rank. But still, not quite like urine.
Crack Tax. Any tax called the "crack tax" gets my vote. Maybe they were on it when they made it? That's the only way I could see any lawmaker coming up with that one and not first thinking to himself, "Wow, what a huge double standard. I'd have to be a tard to put this down on paper." Speaking of, as about half of you know, I once had written an introduction to a movie that made Shakespeare just look like some dude who breathed heavy. Well, after a freak harddrive crash, I lost that and 3 years worth of data. Well, miraculously, I was able to resurrect that drive long enough to get it all back. Well, I guess I'll start another sentence with the word "well." And that movie? Still hilarious. Still in the works. And trust me, this opening scene to this day makes me wet myself.
There I go again with the urine...