I am not Will Hunting
...but that movie still makes me feel like an ass. This post is dedicated to Dan, the advocate of my education. Pssssh. I should make him pay for my schoolin'. Heaven knows he'll be making a quadrabizillion dollars soon enough, what with his doctorate and law degrees. Some people are smarter than the rest, some people are way smarter than the rest, but then there's those few, like Dan, who possess such genius that I think they're actually just retarded, and the rest of us are duped.
So I just took the online Mensa test. It's only a little quickie, a 30-minute, 30-question test, and I'm pretty sure they make it ridiculously easy so they get people to pay to take the real test. After all, everybody wants to prove that they're not stupid. And what better way than having a whole panel of people who've proven they're not stupid give you a piece of paper that says you're not, either? I submit that there is none. The only question I got wrong was "Only one other word can be made from the following word. What is it?" The following word was INSATIABLE, and the answer, naturally, is
-Well now just hold on a minute. Think about it. Think for a little while about it. Think for a long while about it. I thought for more or less one solid minute before deciding that the fate of my evening did not, in fact, hinge upon my ability to answer this question. My skills in spelling are mediocre at best; my only proud point in my command of the English language is my skill with grammar. I couldn't tell you the first thing about the structure of sentences, various phrases and all that jazz, but I can use the crap out of them. It's kinda like driving a car, I think. Some people suck, some people are pretty good, some people make a fortune driving in a long oval for 500 miles once a year, but only a very sparse few of us can lift up the hood, point out every piece and know both its name and function. I'd like to be one of them. Fortuantely, I'm too busy mastering the copy-making business.
And even though my spelling ability is off (certainly more so than it used to be, now that I don't do a whole lot of actual writing), I still refuse to use spell check. I disable it every time. I couldn't really tell you why; maybe it's some sort of "elite" thing, maybe I find it extremely annoying when the very machine that I assembled in my basement tells me how to spell words it doesn't truly understand, but the same deal went down back in the day with calculators. I was that kid back in school, the one who refused to use a calculator, and always handed in his math test with the columns full of notes and quick calculations. I almost made it all the way through High school, if it weren't for all those pesky trigonometric functions. Seriously, I wasn't about to sit there and calculate sines and cosines in my head. That stuff's for the birds. Or the calculators, I guess.
So, this post is for Dan. I'm going to finish school, I'm going to master time and space, and I'm going to buy a B-91 Wraith. The end. Now get off my back. And tell my parents, too. I don't think they take me seriously when I tell them I'm going to finish.
Just don't mention the Wraith.
Oh yeah, BANALITIES. I can't believe I didn't get that.
So I just took the online Mensa test. It's only a little quickie, a 30-minute, 30-question test, and I'm pretty sure they make it ridiculously easy so they get people to pay to take the real test. After all, everybody wants to prove that they're not stupid. And what better way than having a whole panel of people who've proven they're not stupid give you a piece of paper that says you're not, either? I submit that there is none. The only question I got wrong was "Only one other word can be made from the following word. What is it?" The following word was INSATIABLE, and the answer, naturally, is
-Well now just hold on a minute. Think about it. Think for a little while about it. Think for a long while about it. I thought for more or less one solid minute before deciding that the fate of my evening did not, in fact, hinge upon my ability to answer this question. My skills in spelling are mediocre at best; my only proud point in my command of the English language is my skill with grammar. I couldn't tell you the first thing about the structure of sentences, various phrases and all that jazz, but I can use the crap out of them. It's kinda like driving a car, I think. Some people suck, some people are pretty good, some people make a fortune driving in a long oval for 500 miles once a year, but only a very sparse few of us can lift up the hood, point out every piece and know both its name and function. I'd like to be one of them. Fortuantely, I'm too busy mastering the copy-making business.
And even though my spelling ability is off (certainly more so than it used to be, now that I don't do a whole lot of actual writing), I still refuse to use spell check. I disable it every time. I couldn't really tell you why; maybe it's some sort of "elite" thing, maybe I find it extremely annoying when the very machine that I assembled in my basement tells me how to spell words it doesn't truly understand, but the same deal went down back in the day with calculators. I was that kid back in school, the one who refused to use a calculator, and always handed in his math test with the columns full of notes and quick calculations. I almost made it all the way through High school, if it weren't for all those pesky trigonometric functions. Seriously, I wasn't about to sit there and calculate sines and cosines in my head. That stuff's for the birds. Or the calculators, I guess.
So, this post is for Dan. I'm going to finish school, I'm going to master time and space, and I'm going to buy a B-91 Wraith. The end. Now get off my back. And tell my parents, too. I don't think they take me seriously when I tell them I'm going to finish.
Just don't mention the Wraith.
Oh yeah, BANALITIES. I can't believe I didn't get that.
posted by Dave LaGory at 02:57
4 Comments:
Obviously banalties! What sort of moron misses that question. I mean seriously. It's totally apparent that you need to go back to school before you mess up on another easy question. :)
I believe in your school finishing dreams buddy!
It's ok if you don't know how to spell, neither do I. Shoot, I can barely read. ccw, cow, they're so close!
(shutup)
who is thys other 'dan' guy that yoo ar talking about?? i'd like 2 meat him! ....although, he's probably some big nurd who doesn't kare to socialize with us kool people. ...It's ok, bye now i'm used to regection. -shannon doesn't like mee cuz i'm whight!
Wow. Next time I see you, I'ma slap the fake stupid right outta you.
That's no joke.
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