It's been a month
And I still haven't bought batteries. It seems I will go to no end to just not have to buy batteries. It's not that I'm wierd or anything, it just so happens that I'm diametrically opposed to them. Imagine two characters in a Shakespeare play; I'm the hardworking, trodden upon poor soul who is forced to time and time again give in to the wasteful, selfish overlord, or, in short, the batteries. I hate that they run out and you have to buy new ones. I think I would mind the whole situation less if one day I opened up the remote or the keyboard or the anything-that-used-batteries-ever and the battery just wasn't there. I mean, if it's used up, then why is it sitting there all pristine just mocking me? I save my empty batteries. Call me crazy, But I'll find a way to make them start working again. I have to wait 63 years to retire. They can't honestly think they're done after four months. And don't even get me started on my CD player's battery life. I'd have retired halfway through kindergarten with the way that think drinks the ol' electrons.
Anyway, I came across a Word Verificatio earlier that reminded me of a story. As some of you may know, I went to summer camp for a few years as a kid. One particular year some little no-name company called "Kodak" decides that a camera made of cheap plastic that you can just throw away is a good idea. Being a dumb kid who breaks things that I don't even touch, I decide they're onto something and make said purchase. Keep the break part in mind. After two weeks of hangin' out and all that jazz, I use up the 36 pictures and am suddenly bored with the camera. I decide it would be hilarious to continue using the flash feature on it, but am immediatly stumped as you can't depress the picture-taking button once the film runs out.
Find a way around it? You bet I did. I found that by charging up the flash, if you smack the camera against a surface, say a table, or in a pinch the palm of your hand, it will still flash. And now I'm armed. But, all this abuse can't be good for the film, I think. So I crack that little camera open, find the film compartment, and remove it, sticking it in a dry black sock and then into a ziplock bag. Genius, I know. And let me tell you, the exposed inards of a single-use camera are totally cool lookin'. I guess I've always been a nerd. One thing to be careful of, when you go to charge up that flash again, that little plastic housing did more than make it easy to hold. It covers up the soddered wires in the back that, when connected, release a heavy shock once that flash charges up. Needless to say, I didn't think about the basics of electronics and current as I held that little guy in my probably-sweaty-hand. And yes, it really does wait for the flash to charge before it shocks you. It shocks you good. It shocks you so good that you'll black-out. And during this black-out you will throw the camera about twenty feet and shatter it on a wall and curse like a drunken sailor who was just pantsed in front of a cheerleading squad. And when you come to, you'll notice those two wires have nicely burned an impression of themselves into your hand, and that it feels like a mosquito covered in Dave's Insanity Sauce just bit you with a pneumatic drill. Trust me, leave the plastic case on.
After seeing my camera very much not near me and even more so not in one piece, I thought to myself "good thing I took the film out." Idiot. If you didn't take the film out, you wouldn't have a wanna-be-black-widow bite on your stupid hand and pulverized the camera anyway.
Now, what word verification might possibly have reminded me of this scene? No, it wasn't any one of the myriad of nasty rated R words that came flying out of my high-voltage gullet, though that might have been just as amusing. The word was "nzzekt," and I assume that's what it sounded like just before the shattering pieces and strings of foul language.
Man I'm awesome. And I have a best friend.
Anyway, I came across a Word Verificatio earlier that reminded me of a story. As some of you may know, I went to summer camp for a few years as a kid. One particular year some little no-name company called "Kodak" decides that a camera made of cheap plastic that you can just throw away is a good idea. Being a dumb kid who breaks things that I don't even touch, I decide they're onto something and make said purchase. Keep the break part in mind. After two weeks of hangin' out and all that jazz, I use up the 36 pictures and am suddenly bored with the camera. I decide it would be hilarious to continue using the flash feature on it, but am immediatly stumped as you can't depress the picture-taking button once the film runs out.
Find a way around it? You bet I did. I found that by charging up the flash, if you smack the camera against a surface, say a table, or in a pinch the palm of your hand, it will still flash. And now I'm armed. But, all this abuse can't be good for the film, I think. So I crack that little camera open, find the film compartment, and remove it, sticking it in a dry black sock and then into a ziplock bag. Genius, I know. And let me tell you, the exposed inards of a single-use camera are totally cool lookin'. I guess I've always been a nerd. One thing to be careful of, when you go to charge up that flash again, that little plastic housing did more than make it easy to hold. It covers up the soddered wires in the back that, when connected, release a heavy shock once that flash charges up. Needless to say, I didn't think about the basics of electronics and current as I held that little guy in my probably-sweaty-hand. And yes, it really does wait for the flash to charge before it shocks you. It shocks you good. It shocks you so good that you'll black-out. And during this black-out you will throw the camera about twenty feet and shatter it on a wall and curse like a drunken sailor who was just pantsed in front of a cheerleading squad. And when you come to, you'll notice those two wires have nicely burned an impression of themselves into your hand, and that it feels like a mosquito covered in Dave's Insanity Sauce just bit you with a pneumatic drill. Trust me, leave the plastic case on.
After seeing my camera very much not near me and even more so not in one piece, I thought to myself "good thing I took the film out." Idiot. If you didn't take the film out, you wouldn't have a wanna-be-black-widow bite on your stupid hand and pulverized the camera anyway.
Now, what word verification might possibly have reminded me of this scene? No, it wasn't any one of the myriad of nasty rated R words that came flying out of my high-voltage gullet, though that might have been just as amusing. The word was "nzzekt," and I assume that's what it sounded like just before the shattering pieces and strings of foul language.
Man I'm awesome. And I have a best friend.
posted by Dave LaGory at 00:57
5 comments
